Give it a rest

I finally did it. And I and intrigued. I finally allowed myself to take a rest form the daily posting and scrolling that I was engaged in for years on my social media platforms. I am, naturally, guilty of the smugness and preachiness that comes with taking that action. It’s tempting to gloat to others that social media is a waste of time, that it doesn’t help anything  and that those who are addicted to it are somehow less evolved. Of course I was in their shoes a week ago, but now I somehow have an upper hand on what is conscious. Yeah, I’m thinking, but let’s see what happens in a month, or two.

What really strikes me is what social media serves for us all.  The need to post is the need to be seen and heard, a primary and crucial need we all have as soon as we enter the world. To be seen is to be valid, to be validated causes ease and regulation. To be heard and applauded allows for a sense of purpose. We matter and what we have to offer is important.

But what if we don’t have this daily platform of validation.  I’ve been noticing that what is happening now that I am not on the platforms is that the opposite experience of myself started creeping in. I recently found myself having an epic, IG-post-worthy weekend with amazing views, great meals and my kids doing the sweetest things and looking so adorable. But I couldn’t post it on the platforms to show the world about it (or at least decided to take a break from posting).  My experiences suddenly felt less important, like me having these moments just for myself was insignificant if others didn’t see it. 

I thought about how long we lived without this outlet. Were we less satisfied? Were the events less significant? Well obviously no, in fact some research indicates that we were just as satisfied with less information, perhaps more satisfied,  and that social platforms are causing more depression and conflict than ever before.

I know, I know,  social media is also great in so many ways. It can link us internationally with a flick of a swipe,  can advertise our services and allows us to work remotely.  That’s not my focus here. What I am more interested in is what happens when we stop. Can we find our own compass of worth? Can we find meaning and validation in our experiences and art on our own? It may not be as shiny with the likes and comments but it may feel more solid. It’s your own knowing of self and its about finding your own internal validation.

So how do we find this internal guide? How do we re-orient towards our own oracle vs needing to be “liked” to be valid? It boils down to your own relationship with yourself and finding the path towards the Sovereign Soul. I’ll be writing thoughts  and insights on this new blog that covers practices, explorations, frameworks and sometimes my personal expressions around this journey to find an internal satisfaction and a healthy relationship with my True Self, my sovereignty. 

This blog is my personal insights as a developing woman, a mother and a Psychotherapist (

Thanks for reading. I see you…



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Maya Lane Psychotherapy

San Francisco based psychotherapist in private practice. For more info: MAYALANE.COM

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